In July, user u/ThrowRavin was heartbroken after her husband admitted to being in love with her sister—despite the fact his wife was six months pregnant at the time.
Posting to the TrueOffMyChest forum, the woman said her husband confessed his feelings while drunk. Her sister’s boyfriend had proposed during a double date with the pair at a restaurant. After returning home, the poster found her “tipsy” husband crying in the living room.
“I asked him what’s going on and he told me that he was in love with my sister, has been for years, but that he knew how wrong this was,” she wrote. “He told me that [he] loved me very much and promised to be a good husband and father to our daughter.”
More Than ‘Just Friends’
A 2018 study conducted by the University of Colorado found that extramarital affairs are most likely to be with someone the person knows well. Using data from the General Social Survey, researchers discovered that 53.5 percent of adulterers cheated with someone close to them, such as a friend.
About 29.4 percent confessed to sleeping with a coworker, neighbor or long-term acquaintance, while the remainder reported extramarital sex with someone they knew casually.
They also found that married men are more likely to cheat than women, with 21 percent of men and 13 percent of women admitting to being unfaithful at some point in their life.
‘I Cried for a Whole Week’
Since that night, the poster’s husband seems to have changed his mind on the “good husband and father” part. Instead, he decided to move to another city and cut off contact with his wife and child.
“We’re getting a divorce,” she said in her update. “And he doesn’t want to have anything to do with our daughter.”
After the initial confession, her husband said he wanted to make things work, and didn’t want to tell her sister anything because he was “embarrassed.” The pair decided to have a fresh start in a new city where her husband had a better job offer. Her sister was “distraught” by her sister’s decision to move away but was supportive. However, the sister had her own news to share.
“After her vacation she came home and told me everything. She was pregnant and she was glowing, and that was the reason for this sudden engagement,” she said.
“Her fiancé wants to get married before the baby [is] born. She asked me to keep it a secret because she was waiting for the second trimester to make the announcement.”
The poster said she “cried for a whole week” after the news, while her husband stayed in the other city to “sign a lease to a new apartment.” Once he found out about her sister’s pregnancy, her husband called her drunk asking if it was true.
She wrote: “He called me a cruel liar for not telling him. He said it was so unfair.
“[That] my sister’s fiancé was a loser and he didn’t deserve her (her fiancé is a carpenter and my sister is a pediatrician) and he told me he needed to be alone for a while so switched off his phone.
“Friday he texted me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore and that he didn’t want to be in my daughter’s life. If I agreed to free him from his responsibilities as a father he will leave me the house.”
The husband told her sister he was coming for a visit, forcing the poster to tell her everything.
“I told her that Lucas was going to call asking to meet her probably to tell her he loved her. [O]r maybe something more sinister so she need to stay away from him” she said.
“Her fiancé was on the edge of his seat with anger. My sister was just crying and apologizing and trying to hug and stroke my hair.
“I told my sister that I want to be [on] my own for a while and that I didn’t want any contact with any of them.”
After telling her husband that her sister and fiancé knew everything and were unhappy with him, he called and apologized for scaring her sister, but didn’t ask about his wife or the baby.
“My sister texted me later that she loved me and that she would stay out of my way if that’s what I wanted but to please not go through with my plans to move,” she said.
“She needs me and she would do anything to make it up to me. I didn’t answer. I hate it when she’s so perfect and kind.”
Since being posted on August 14, the update has received almost 13,000 upvotes and 1,300 comments from Reddit users, with many warning the woman about her husband’s worrying behavior.
“Your husband is out of his mind. Not sure what he expects to happen,” said ImagineSnapDragons.
“I’m guessing he’s throwing in a Hail Mary, to get her to leave her fiancé to ride of into the sunset with him. I don’t see this working out the way he probably is hoping.”
Thebeachsucks agreed, writing: “Unstable men get obsessive over something they can’t have and hyper fixate on what it is they think they want even if they have amazing things going for them.
“They are absolutely one of the most dangerous people to be around, especially if you are the object of their infatuation.”
Spectrum2081 commented: “Please don’t let your soon-to-be ex poison your relationship with your sister.
“She’s ‘kind and perfect’ and that’s the kind of love and support you deserve.”
Newsweek has reached out to u/ThrowRavin for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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