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Proposals A and B are the Father Ted and Dougal entries in Eurosong

Option A: Fire the four crap counties from Leinster and Ulster into Munster and Connacht. Nobody gives a damn about Fermanagh or Antrim or Carlow or Westmeath anyway. Each artificial province of eight teams will then have two groups of four for a round-robin phase.

nder this option, if Antrim were bottom seeds in Ulster, they would end up in Connacht playing Mayo, Roscommon and Leitrim, meaning Antrim Gaels would have to travel a minimum of a 300-mile round trip for the away games. Such casual, gross disrespect.

The winner of each group will get a place in the provincial final. The second and third-placed teams will progress to Round 1 of the All-Ireland series. The fourth team in each group will be relegated to the rebranded Tommy Murphy Cup. This would leave the bottom eight teams in a demoralising bargain-basement competition that, as ex-president Seán Kelly put it last week, is another “kick up the behind” to the weaker counties (Seán is too polite to say arse).

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