Love Island Episode 31: Toby and Tyler want all the cakes while Kaz gives Matthew the Clarisse treatment

The force of entitlement is strong with these padawans.

t the end of last night’s episode, we were left with the teaser of Toby saying: “I’m in a place where I’m with Mary, brought Mary back, didn’t expect Abi to be by herself, but she’s by herself. She seems, like, she still wants to get to know me. But, my head is with…Chlo.”

It turns out he was saying this to two of the worst beacons of masculinity – Tyler and Jake.

Once the guffawing subsided, Toby elaborated further saying: “I walked down with Mary and obviously, I was like, ‘Agh, Abi’s by herself, what the f***’. But then, in the corner of my eye, I’m like, ‘Chloe’s with someone as well’. I’m like, ‘Woah, I don’t like that’. I knew she was going to be with someone. But I didn’t know I was going to feel the way I felt. Which in myself says a lot about how I feel towards the girl. It’s not dead in my eyes.”

So Toby is, yet again, “in a bit of a pickle”. Left with no choice but to pluck Mary (his current partner) and Abi (his most recent ex) for chats – but not before whispering his new secret to mate Millie.

Being a very understanding sort, instead of tearing Toby a new one, she instead offloaded in the Beach Hut, saying: “What the hell? It took Toby to go through two girls to realise he actually likes Chloe and he misses her? You can’t predict it, can you?”

Um, yes. Yes, you can. Boys don’t know what they want. They also don’t want anyone else to have whatever they’re undecided about. Which brings us neatly to…

Tyler reckons he can string along Clarisse and Kaz
Well, how else is he going to decide which one he wants?! Informing ex Kaz of his self-inflicted dilemma, she replied: “Really? So what am I, your little backup option?”

His acknowledgment that it “seems a bit greedy” wasn’t enough for Kaz, with her understandably retorting: “It sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it…What you’re saying is, ‘I’m back with a new girl, I’m going to get to know her, I’m going to try to get to know you too and decide who I like more’.”

Kaz then slept on the news (while still expecting “cuddles from Matthew”) that Tyler would pick her over Clarisse, who he brought back to the villa like a show pony.

Later in the show, Tyler asked ladies man, Mr Hammond, what his thoughts were on him touching up both girls – did he think it’s appropriate?

Tyler probably should have asked a girl – or Matthew – what they thought… After all, poor wee Matthew is getting Clarissed by Kaz.

Speaking of Clarisse, she pulled Kaz aside for a chat to get her point of view, and, short story, it was reminiscent of Lillie and Millie’s chat from yesterday. In other words; he told the other one he’d choose the other one over the other one. And now they’ve both found out about it. Go figs.

Liam lurks around like a bad smell
Instead of respecting Millie’s wishes (after she ended their union the previous night in the wake of her revelatory meeting with Lillie), Liam did not give her space. Instead, he sent her rubbish texts, after flinging himself into the bed beside her, asking how she slept.

The following day, he dropped a really cringy joke about Millie’s dress looking better on a bedroom floor. And. She. Laughed.

Things didn’t end there. Jake, being his builder in crime, helped Liam scrawl a note on some kitchen roll and had the NERVE to spray her bed with his scent. Like a randy tomcat.

Then, when she didn’t think that amazing show of maturity was enough to warrant an invite back into their bed, he grumbled about “still in the f***in’ dog house”. Not for long enough, unfortunately; Millie was seen sniffing the sprayed duvet before snuggling it to sleep.

In other news
Chloe dumped Dale. Yep, it’s all change in the couple department.

Allegedly unaware of Toby’s renewed interest in her, Chloe decided she and Dale weren’t vibing anymore, “obvs”. However, luckily for everyone involved, Dale has his eye on the remainder of Toby’s hareem – that being Mary and Abi.

In related happenings, Faye dumped Sam – it seemed to be the right thing to do after she shared a kiss with Teddy on the terrace after their emotional reunion the night prior. The course of true love never does run smooth.

Oh, and this is happening – because there aren’t nearly enough bodies in there already what with there being 18 of them bouncing off each other. Although Mabel will probably have her own VIP jacks on her tour bus.

Tweet of the night

Key takeaway

Love Island returns tomorrow at 9pm on Virgin Media One and Virgin Media Player.

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