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“Don’t want to parent”: Mom backed for exposing kids’ dad to mother-in-law

Internet commenters stood in support of one mother who explained how she exposed the father of her children to her former mother-in-law.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Winter_Apple_6053 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she and her husband of 30 years recently went through an ugly divorce and detailed the aftermath of his abrupt decision to walk out their kids’ lives.

Titled, “[Am I the a**hole] for exposing my ex to his mother about our kids?” the viral post has received nearly 13,000 votes and 1,400 comments in the last six hours.

Writing that she and her now ex-husband have a 12-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son, the original poster said the former couple’s divorce proceedings were finishing up when he made it clear he no longer wanted to be a father.

“Everything was pretty much wrapped up ’til he said he no longer wanted any part of our kids’ lives,” OP wrote.

“I asked what he wanted me to tell the kids and he just said, ‘Whatever you think is best, I don’t care. I don’t want to parent anymore,'” she added.

Following the finalization of her divorce, the original poster said she was confronted by her ex-mother-in-law about her grandchildren and accused of purposely keeping them away from their father.

“I get a call from my ex [mother-in-law] asking if we could meet,” she wrote. “When I came over she broke down crying and begging to let my ex see his kids again.”

“She went on about how my ex said ‘he really missed them and that I was just a petty b*tch for taking full custody,'” she continued. “I told her my version of events and she called it [bullsh*t] saying her son wouldn’t lie like that, especially not about his kids.”

Redditors were quick to show support for one mother who exposed her ex-husband for refusing to help parent the former couple’s children.
Getty/iStock

In response, the original poster said she called her ex-husband in front of his mother. After asking about his supposed desire to see his kids, the original poster said he reiterated that he was done being their parent.

“He instantly said, ‘No. I already said I’m not doing this anymore,'” she wrote. “I asked, ‘Well how do you think this is going to affect [your mother]?”

“He just said, ‘She loves me more than the kids so I doubt this will be an issue for her,'” she added.

After hanging up, the original poster said her ex-mother-in-law was “straight faced” and told her that they would be in touch. The same day, the original poster said she received another phone call from her ex-husband.

“I got a call from my ex saying how it’s my fault he was kicked out of his mom’s house and possibly will be taken off her will,” she wrote. “Also that none of his family members will talk to him because of what [his mother] heard.”

Despite the common misconception that “50 percent of marriages end in divorce,” current rates in the United States are much lower.

In 2020, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported a divorce rate of 2.3 per 1,000 population. And while the CDC‘s divorce data does not account for 5 of 50 states (California, Hawaii, Indiana, Minnesota and New Mexico) its reported rate comes nowhere close to the offhanded 50 percent figure.

Despite decreasing rates, however, marriages that do end in divorce continue to adversely affect former partners, as well as their children.

For children, VeryWell Family reports that divorce can be a pivotal experience and can change the trajectory of their lives, especially when one parent cuts ties completely.

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, Redditors defended the newly-single mother and remained adamant that, while her ex-husband was within his rights to give up his rights as a parent, he was not justified in blaming the original poster for never seeing his kids.

“He did not have the right to paint you in a bad light and make you look to be at fault and evil/manipulative,” Redditor u/BootsNblueEyes wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received close to 14,000 votes.

“His mom had the right to go no contact with her son—a grown man who didn’t want contact with his actual young kids,” they added. “Sounds like he’s getting a taste of his own medicine.”

Redditor u/GothPenguin, whose comment has received nearly 4,000 votes, offered a similar response.

“Your [ex-mother-in-law] deserved to know what lies her son has been spreading and how little he wants to do with being a parent,” they wrote. “Him being mad he was caught is his own fault, not yours.”

“He made a decision for which he knew his family would judge him negatively, so he lied and made you the scapegoat,” Redditor u/TurtleTheMoon commented. “You didn’t go seeking out his family to tell them what he’d done, you were blindsided by the whole thing.”

“I can’t understand how anyone would ever take his side in this,” they added. “He abandoned his children, blamed you, and now is angry that his malfeasance and subsequent lies have been found out.”

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