DEAR DEIDRE: I THOUGHT my boyfriend and I would go the distance, until he asked me for a threesome.
Now I’m doubting how solid we are. We’ve been together for three years and I thought he was satisfied with me. I’m 43 and he’s 46.
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Over the summer he started to make sounds that he was interested in involving someone else. I wasn’t keen so I laughed it off — telling him he could only just about handle me.
But recently he became more insistent, explaining he’d always wanted to have a threesome.
He reassured me he still fancied me and so I reluctantly agreed — on condition that it would only be the once.
He said he would arrange it all and asked me to trust him, and I agreed.
Next, he came home one evening all excited because everything was sorted and I just had to get dressed up — for our threesome date.
But arriving in the smart bar, I was completely thrown when my boyfriend walked over to another man and introduced me.
We had a couple of drinks and this guy was really good-looking, but I had been expecting another woman — and this surprised me. My boyfriend could see I wasn’t on form and checked that I was still okay.
I stupidly insisted that I was even though inside I was panicking that it must mean my boyfriend was actually gay.
When we eventually went back to our place I felt quite tipsy which helped my nerves.
We all started to undress each other and it was going fine until this man took my hand and my boyfriend’s to lead us upstairs.
At that point I bottled it and ran back downstairs, hastily dressed and escaped into the night.
A quick walk around the block helped me to clear my head but when I got back home the bloke was only just leaving.
Since then I’ve wondered if they carried on the party without me but my boyfriend insists nothing happened.
He says he only wanted to watch me with another man and doesn’t have any gay tendencies but how can I be sure?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your boyfriend could well be telling the truth – some men want to be cuckolded by another man. Some are aroused by seeing another man have sex with their partner.
So your boyfriend inviting another man to have sex with you could be exactly that – a cuckolding fetish.
In any relationship you have to decide whether to take that leap of faith and trust your partner.
Only through talking to him about your fears will he be able to reassure you and then you need to decide whether you believe him.
Inviting any third party into your relationship introduces a risk that one or other of you could get emotionally hurt.
You aren’t happy having a threesome so tell you boyfriend – no one should do anything sexually that they aren’t comfortable with.
I’m sending you my support pack on Threesomes.
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